An Outsider Looking In
Not being an original Utahn, I can’t help but find certain things a bit odd. Having been born in the Hudson Valley area of New York, and then living as a Damn Yankee (not the big hair band) in North Carolina for fifteen years, I feel that my four years in Utah still qualifies me as an outsider. In any case, I seem to get weird looks from people when I bring these differences up, further cementing my sense of being out of touch with fellow Utahns.
During the course of my day, while involved in my day job, I run into some peculiar things. Having grown up in places where religion affected people on the personal level, and not on the cultural level, I can’t help but notice how different it is when someone brings up religious references assuming the other person knows what they are talking about.
Having been Mormon, I understand the references, but cringe to think of the people living here who have never been and have no desire to be Mormon. I think to the African-American woman who recently moved here from Virginia, who I was fortunate to be of assistance to while at work. She really had no idea what people were talking about when they mention wards, stakes, and refer to each other as brother or sister. I sense that someone, at some point, will make her conversion to the LDS faith as their personal project. I feel sorry for her, as her work dictated the move and she is a true outsider to the culture. Aside from that, being a black woman in Utah Valley stands out to some people about as much as a naked person in the street.
Another man I met at work had a Mormon-themed wallpaper image on his cell phone. As it turns out, the artist lives nearby. When I mentioned this to the man with the cell phone, with nearly a tear in his eye, told me that the artist was” his favorite in all of existence.” In any other state in the United States, someone looking at his cell phone would merely see a painting of Jesus hugging an unknown man in a white robe.
People always seem to speak of missions as if everyone in the Valley should damn well know what they are talking about. Missions, as views by evangelicals, are completely different than the mission concept of Mormons, especially in organization and purpose. It would be hard to fathom being gone for two years, and I imagine some unsuspecting new, non-LDS, Utahn being told that someone just got back from a mission as if it were the most important event this decade.
My suggestion to Mormons in Utah Valley is to be a true neighbor. Do not suppose that these people know what you mean when you say things. To them, “congregation” makes more sense than “ward.” To them, a mission is a month long event in Mexico, Central America, or South America that involves a little compassionate service with a some religious outreach. They likely will have no idea how serious your religion is to you. Be gentle with these “gentiles,” as a Mormon might call them. Be a decent human being and don’t assume they need the same truth that you have, as they likely already have their own sense of truth.
And please, lay off the weird terminology. Don’t assume they are an insider to the Utah culture.
Eric Palmatier
